The story only gets better, trust me.

Inside a Buger King Restaurant
Bloomberg, Getty Images

A man has been arrested for DUI in Galesburg, IL after driving into a ditch. Here comes the good stuff.

  • His name was Burger King
  • Donald Trump was coming to beat them up
  • A doctor was going to give him a million dollars
  • After being taken into custody he said he was being taken to "Satan's Town"

34-year-old Bradley S. Galloway refused medical treatment, refused to stand, and had to be carried by officers.

No details were given on the flavor of wine cooler we was drinking.