Last week in this space I posted a piece called "You Probably Didn't Know These Things are Against the Law in Illinois." To be honest, I thought that would be the end of it. I mean, how many bizarro-world laws can one state have? Turns out, thanks to some research by alert listener Mike, we've got more. Plenty more.

Mike dropped me an email that was chock full of links to stories about the multitude of goofy statutes and such that could still cause you a problem if someone were determined enough to "bring you to justice."

Here are some really good ones, courtesy of SpudArt:

  • A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
  • Eureka: A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman (If my wife moves to Eureka, I'm out of luck).
  • In Illinois it is illegal for barbers to use their fingers to apply shaving cream to a customer’s face (I've seen Sweeney Todd, so no problem there!)
  • “Dwarf-tossing,” the strange practice of hurling dwarfs in padded suits, is outlawed in the bars of Springfield, Ill., because it’s dangerous and exploitative. The practice is apparently allowed elsewhere in town, with a special permit.
  • Evanston: Bowling is forbidden; It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween; It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
  • Freeport: It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.
  • In Chicago, people who are diseased, maimed, mutilated, or “otherwise an unsightly or disgusting object” are banned from going out in public.
  • Peoria: Basketball hoops may not be installed on a driveway.
  • The people in Manteno, Ill., do not want used facial tissue, period. Hence, you cannot “throw, drop or place” a used hankie “upon any public way or public place or upon the floor of any convenience or upon the floor of any theater, hall or assembly or public building or upon the surface or any lot or parcel of ground or on the roof on any building or in any light or air shaft, court or areaway.”
  • You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of “eavesdropping” on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.

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