Throughout the state of Illinois today, several people are going to call their dog a "big pain in the ass," but only one of those people is going to be literally and provably correct.

A guy named Bob Barnes, from Syracuse, New York is the guy with a bite-marked butt to prove it. Bob's on a mission to bike to all 50 state capitals, and while he's had plenty of adventures on his trip, his visit to Illinois is going to stay with him for awhile.

At least until the bandages come off.

Represent a dog biting a man butt.
It's always far more humorous when cartoon dogs bite you in the butt than real ones. (Getty Images)
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Getty Images
Okay, maybe not to everyone. (Getty Images)
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Bob Accidentally Burned Down His Own Tent In Michigan, And Has Been Chased By A Kentucky Bull, But No Blood Was Spilled Until He Got To Illinois

You might be wondering what Bob's motivation is to attempt a bicycle tour to all 50 state capitals (including the difficulty of biking to the state capital of Hawaii), as I was.

According to interviews that he's given, 52 year-old Bob and his bike hit the road in August of 2021 with the goal of biking to each state capital for several reasons:

  • To raise awareness for blood donation (he's giving blood throughout the entire journey)
  • To push himself to complete a personal challenge
  • To see for himself what the country is really like
  • To see how warm, welcoming, and friendly Illinois dogs can be
Represent a dog biting a man butt.
Welcome to Springfield! (Getty Images)
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Young woman has itching the buttocks, Healthcare concept.
Can someone point me toward Iowa? (Getty Images)
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Not One To Be Felled By A Few Buttock Area Punctures, Bob Hit The Road Immediately For Iowa

Dog attacks can be dangerous and deadly, so the only reason this is being looked at lightheartedly is that Bob Barnes said that he wasn't injured or even slowed down because of the encounter with a beefy, yellow-coated, mixed breed. He thanks a can of pepper spray for that.

Fox News:

(After being bitten on the left butt-cheek) The dog kept following him, but Barnes used his pepper spray during the dog's second and third approach.

"I got him good, and he went back home," Barnes said matter-of-factly.

"I was very calm because I’ve done it a bunch of times," he added about fending off aggressive dogs.

Click here to read more about Bob Barnes and his 50 state capitals bicycle tour.

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