Okay, maybe the bugs aren't quite as large as the photo might suggest, but my "How To Add Hyperbolic Photos To Your Internet Posts" handbook said that these would work.

I wish I had saved the video from the time my wife set up a video camera to record herself in a battle to the death with a centipede on our basement wall. I was out of town, and she wanted video proof to back up her claims of a legendary throw-down with the bloodthirsty creature. A woman with a skillet will have to suffice for illustration.

Judging by the carnage on the cutting board, she's done this before. (Getty Images)
Judging by the carnage on the cutting board, she's done this before. (Getty Images)
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This woman knows. Why use just one hand for bug-killing when you can use them both?

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Ya want some of this? Well do ya, punk? (Getty Images)
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It's Fall, And All Sorts Of Creepy-Crawlies Are Looking For A Warm Place To Spend The Winter

As cold as it gets here in the Rockford area, no self-respecting bug wants to get caught outside between now and March. So, they're looking to go rent-free for a few months at your place. Some of them will go completely unnoticed in your home, while others have a tendency to make themselves known.

Close up Cockroach on toothbrush, Denotes infection
This is unpleasant on multiple levels. (Getty Images)
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Here Are The Five Or So Bugs Who Want In Your Northern Illinois Home

Brown Marmorated Stink Bugs. They're harmless, but you'll be sorry if you squish them.

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You've seen these guys around your house. (Getty Images)
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Asian Lady Beetles. They're great when they're outside being beneficial to us by eating aphids and other pests. Inside, in groups, they can let off a very bad odor, and stain things when you smash them.

If you just have one, no worries. (Getty Images)
If you just have one, no worries. (Getty Images)
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This many could be a problem. (Getty Images)
This many could be a problem. (Getty Images)
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Western Conifer Seed Bugs. These guys are pretty much exactly like a stinkbug, except they can bite. Luckily, they're really slow-moving and are no match for your vacuum.

You'll never vacuum me alive! (Getty Images)
You'll never vacuum me alive! (Getty Images)
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Boxelder (or, Box Elder) Bugs. They're pretty cool for a bug. They don't bite, they don't chew on your stuff. They're in your house for the warmth and shelter. They will stain walls if you smash them, so go with the vacuum.

 

We love what you've done with the place! (Getty Images)
We love what you've done with the place! (Getty Images)
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Millipedes, Centipedes, and SowbugsThey're great when they're outside doing what they're supposed to do (consuming decaying organic matter), but inside is a different story. They're harmless, but they do seem to provoke a primal reaction in many people.

Here's a millipede. (Getty Images)
Here's a millipede. (Getty Images)
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And here's a centipede. (Getty Images)
And here's a centipede. (Getty Images)
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And these disgusting things are sowbugs. (Getty Images)
And these disgusting things are sowbugs. (Getty Images)
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LOOK: 20 of the biggest insects in the world

Stacker compiled a list of 20 of the biggest insects in the world using a variety of news, scientific, and other sources.

Gallery Credit: Andrea Vale

Quiz: Do you know your state insect?

Stacker has used a variety of sources to compile a list of the official state insect(s) of each U.S. state, as well as their unique characteristics. Read on to see if you can guess which insect(s) represent your state. 

Gallery Credit: Andrew Vale

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