bugs

Here's how to gauge your own level of arachnophobia: if you said "Wow, what a colorful and interesting specimen," you've got a pretty small case of spider-phobia, if at all.

Summer weather has officially evacuated Illinois and with the wind, rain and chilly temps, we also get bugs, specifically Brown Marmorated Stink Bugs.

Let's get started by asking you to think about yourself for a moment. Do you have any phobias? Up until this morning, I figured the percentage of Americans with phobia had to be around 50 percent...but it turns out I was way off on my guess.

Okay, maybe the bugs aren't quite as large as the photo might suggest, but my "How To Add Hyperbolic Photos To Your Internet Posts" handbook said that these would work.

Over the last week or so, every time I hear my wife say "There's another one! Get it!" I try to pretend that she's discussing slices of pizza or bottles of fine bourbon. She's not, though. She's talking about stink bugs. Like the one pictured above.

If you don't like bugs, I am sorry in advance for what you're about to see.

Swarms of mayflies are taking over the Midwest, and if you hate bugs, these photos may be the stuff your nightmares are made of.

It's not that our two states don't agree that there are insects that should be hated, it's just that we disagree on which creep-crawly should draw the most disdain.

Whenever you get a huge group of 17-year olds together, you just know it's going to be loud. Really loud. It doesn't matter whether they happen to be humans or cicadas.

In the interests of full disclosure, I must tell you that we have an artificial (or phony, as my two brats...I mean wonderful kids) Christmas tree at our house. And, it's things like this that make me glad we do.