I don't remember the first time my wife and I went searching for ways to get our newborn son to stop crying, but I seem to recall there were lots and lots of people with advice on the topic. Some suggestions included:

  • Quiet things down in the house
  • Make lots of noise in the house
  • Swaddle him up
  • Don't you dare swaddle him up
  • Rock him
  • Hold him very still
  • Take a car ride because the vibrations will soothe him
  • Don't take a car ride because you'll have to do it every time
  • Sing loudly
  • Talk softly
  • Bourbon (for dad, not the baby)

I wish I had known about using The Force. Or, at least the Imperial March from Star Wars:

Later on in life he may attempt to destroy a planet after saying, "Now behold the power of this fully armed and operational battle station!" But really, that's a problem for another day. In a galaxy far, far away.