Be Glad You Didn’t Win the Powerball Jackpot

I know, that sounds a little strange, perhaps full of sour grapes, but after learning about what's happened to some previous winners of big lottery jackpots, I'm working on convincing myself that I should be relieved that I didn't match a single number during Wednesday's drawing. I'm not making a great deal of progress in this effort, to be honest.

Fortunes won, fortunes lost, fortunes that were squandered, stolen, or laden with trouble, you've got it all right here:

See? It's better that we didn't win, right? Right??