Toronto Is Trying To Steal Fred VanVleet
Can you blame them? Fred's awesome.
So I came across this article from a Toronto news site called Narcity. I don't know what Narcity is or what they're about. Fortunately, that's not important.
At first, I thought I was going to write a nice story about how Fred's visiting more kids and making everyone's day once again. Honestly, not that exciting. We know he's great. We've been aware for at least a decade.
I was going to get a couple of clicks and go on my way. Then I got to this part of the article.
VanVleet - or VanThreet [ED. NOTE: No one calls him that], is a native of Rockford, Illinois. However, Torontonians largely consider him one of their own.
Listen Toronto, I respect you. I've heard great things about your cool metropolitan vibe. The "Chicago of Canada" they say. I'd love to visit sometime.
But keep your hands off Fred. He's ours.
What's next? Vancouver claiming Cheap Trick? Edmonton claiming Michelle Williams? Thunder Bay claiming Ginger Lynn? Actually you can have that last one. You keep Drake and we'll keep Fred. Deal?
I've got my eyes on you Narcity and Toronto. People think you're nice just because you're Canadian. I don't partake in those kinds of stereotypes, it's a byproduct of being so woke.
You're officially on alert.
P.S. We've recently been warned about using clickbait headlines. I would like to clarify, for those that don't understand humor, that headline was hyperbole.
P.P.S. I feel kind of bad about the Ginger Lynn joke. Never met her and she might be just a wonderful person. My apologies to the Lynn clan for picking some low hanging fruit.