Dekalb Police Confirm That There Is A Cheese Vandal In Town

First of all. Shout out to John Sahly, editor at Shaw Media, for coming up with this headline.

Then you had a strained pun follow-up. It was a good 2 hours on social media today.

Anyway. The story coming out of DeKalb right now is pretty funny.

Apparently, there's a prankster on the loose, randomly tossing slices of cheese on people's cars overnight. It started to get talked about on social media and eventually, the police reported multiple calls over a 48-hour span.

Notice I said prankster and not criminal. That's because it appears that "cheesing" some cars isn't really a crime. AND the Police Commander, Jason Leverton, seems pretty relaxed about it.

ShawLocal - Though vehicle owners might have to wash windows or go through car wash from the cheese, Leverton said instances like these are usually not considered vandalism if you're able to wash it off and there has been no other damage to the car, like a mirror being broken off or someone leaving footprints while trying to climb onto the car. Since cheese biodegrades, it's not considered littering either, he said.

This guy or gal really has the police in a bind here and it's kind of funny. Pretty good move from the Commander here, just laugh with them and don't challenge them to stop. He knows it will pass soon, all stupid things do.

The big question here is what kind of cheese? Kraft Singles? Do they have that kind of money floating around? Is it the generic brand? Do they go to the deli and have them slice it off the block so they don't have to mess with those plastic wrappers? Lots of questions.

Oh, and will this start a copycat trend of cheesing all over the stateline? One could only hope. I would consider it an honor to get cheesed.

P.S. If you haven't seen American Vandal on Netflix, you are missing out. NSFW but very funny.