Boy Decides Mom’s Pregnancy is “Exasperating!”

If you listen to The Riley & Scot Show with any regularity (and if not, let's get started!) you know that both Scot and I are dads. I have two, a boy and a girl, Scot has one boy right now, and soon will add a little girl to the mix.

I remember (like it was yesterday) when Amy and I told our son Spencer, who was almost four years old, that he was going to be a big brother.

"How big?" he asked.

"How big will the baby be?" I inquired. "Pretty small at first."

"No, not the baby. Me. How big of a brother will I be? Like a giant or something? That would be really cool. Then I could stomp on stuff!"

"No," I explained, "I mean you'll be the older brother. Big brother means older. It's also a TV show and a book by George Orwell."

"Waitaminute!" he shouted. "I get to be on a TV show for big brothers?! My own show? Just me and a bunch of other big brothers? Are we giants? Do we get to stomp on stuff? Are you gonna read me the big brother book? We don't have to play with babies the whole time the show is on, right? Right?? Does the book have pictures? If it doesn't, can you just read me the Grinch?"

I realized that if this had been a prizefight, I would have been given a standing eight count, because that barrage of questions made me a little punch-drunk.

"Oh," he said next, "When do we get the baby?"

"In a few months," I answered.

"But...but...I want it now," he groused.

"Sorry pal, but you're going to have to wait, just like we will."

He pondered that for a moment, looking less than satisfied with my proposed timetable, then added, "What if I tell Mom to hurry up?"

I told him that he should suggest that to Mom. Then, I ran for the backyard.

I know that these conversations are hardly unique to my household. Here's a case in point:

But at least he put his request for earplugs in early.