I was told by my parents that I was, as a small child, quite the attempted-escape artist. The "attempted" part was added because I really wasn't very good at it. Tried to go over the rail in my crib. Failed, because of something called "gravity." Tried to sneak outside after being put to bed. Failed, because of being afraid of the dark...and monsters. Tried to slip out of my room to grab some pizza being served at a cocktail party my parents were hosting. Failed, because I knocked over a pitcher of martinis during the attempt.

To put it simply, I just didn't have the deductive mind that this little guy obviously possesses. I give you the Young James Bond:

I won't even bother sharing the details of my attempt to sneak in the house after having too many adult beverages. Suffice to say, my parents made me pay to replace the front hall rug after my stomach rebelled during sneak-in.

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