Getting a DUI is usually embarrassing. This guy took it to a whole new level. 

ChicagoTribune - Police said they were called to the area of Fifth Street and Ashland on the city's East Side around 3:38 p.m. Friday for reports of a man driving a tractor down the roadway, then stopping to urinate in the front yard of a home. Witnesses told police the man was reportedly insulting people as he continued throughout the neighborhood.

Wow! A LOT going on here. Let's break it down.

It's Friday. I get it, you want to blow off some steam. Maybe you work a half day and get off at noon and just start drinking. It's been a long week. You're about 3 hours into celebrating the weekend and then you see it out of the corner of your eye. That shiny John Deere. Its siren call is tempting you. You know you shouldn't but it's just too much. You hop on and start driving it around town. Your neighbor, John, starts yelling at you that you should stop it. What does John know? That idiot still has his Halloween decorations up. You yell something back at him. You're a little loose so you drop a couple of hard expletives in there, you regret it but also know that John had it coming. Then the urge hits you. You already broke the seal 2 hours ago and all this beer has to go somewhere. You pull over and think you're "taking care of business" behind a shed but forget to see that you're directly in view of Mrs. Thompson's window. That's what gets the police involved. You think it's rude that the police are laughing at you but are still hopeful that you'll get off with just a warning. Then your buzz immediately disappears when the bracelets come out and realize that this party just took a serious turn. Images flash in your head of idiot bloggers writing about this story all over the country. That's when you say to yourself for the hundredth and NOT last time "I'm never drinking again."

I think we've all been in a similar situation. Remember folks. When the booze comes out, ALL keys go into hiding. Learn from someone else's mistake.

P.S. The saddest part of the whole story:

The John Deere lawn tractor was towed and impounded.

Talk about rubbing salt in the wounds.

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