I can clearly remember back to when I was a teenager who happened to have gotten himself in trouble with mom and dad. My dad, only half-joking, looked at my mom and said "You'd think that the $800 we spent on his birth would have gotten us a better kid!"

Both my parents were born at home, so the biggest expense for their folks was probably new sheets.

Two things became very clear to me at that moment. One, my dad felt as though he'd been short-changed by the maternity ward at Rockford Memorial, and two, if it costs $800 to have a child...I was never, ever going to be someone's dad. Way too pricey.

However, only one of those things turned out to be true. My dad was short-changed by the maternity ward at RMH.

Getty Images
Getty Images

Later In Life, After My Wife And Victoria's Secret Conspired To Make Me Forget About The Costs, I Became The Father Of Two...And Paid A Lot More Than $800 For It

To be fair, both of my kids were born after emergency C-sections, so the costs associated with their respective births were very high due to the amount of care required to bring about a happy ending to two rather adventurous deliveries.

Some day, after their mom and I are gone, they can pick up the monthly payments.

That's just the first page. (Getty Images)
That's just the first page. (Getty Images)

Enough About What Things Used To Cost, Let's Get To What You're Looking At Paying (On Average) To Have A Baby In Illinois Today

According to Forbes, in a piece published in March of this year, the average cost of giving birth (including pregnancy, delivery and postpartum care) in the United States is...


Forbes points out that your results may vary, based on where you are and the type of birth that you have. Vaginal delivery costs average out to $14,768, while C-section births have an average cost of $26,280.

BodyNestOfficial.com weighs in with a state-by-state cost analysis that has Illinois ranked as the 13th least expensive state to give birth in (outside the Chicago area) with an average cost of $25,103, but their figures include $9,497 for childbirth, $13,802 for infant childcare for one year, and $1,804 for a rent increase.

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