It's a tale as old as time. Chair gets stolen. Chair gets thrown. Brawl breaks out. Seen it a hundred times. 

Fun fact about me. I have never been in a fight. Gotten close a few times but managed to talk my way out of all of them. I don't know how I'd react in a situation like this (that's a lie, I'd run out of there so fast it'd make Usain Bolt blush) but I did notice a couple of highlights in the video.

Here are my unofficial awards.

Most likely to be confused for a possum:


This kid. Sees some punches thrown and immediately plays dead. Initially, I was worried about young Bruce Wayne until I saw him pop right back up 3 seconds later.


See. He's fine. You can't teach that. It's all instinct.

Guy most likely to quit his job tomorrow


This guy. I'll give him credit. This is definitely NOT what he signed up for. I don't feel too bad for him though. You have to know this might happen at an indoor water park in the Dells. I have never been to the Dells but I get the feeling that this isn't exactly out of the ordinary.

Guy who bit off way more than he could chew


I know exactly what this shirtless wonder was thinking. Why throw chairs when you can throw a trash can. Playing chess while everyone else was playing checkers. Makes sense. More surface area. Maybe you can also get some old nacho cheese on your nemesis. Unfortunately for Baby Huey here it looks like that thing hadn't been changed in awhile. Either that or it was a preemptive move on the "resorts" part. It's like they knew people might one day scan the room for weapons and decided to install 500-pound garbage cans so no one could throw them. Either way, I'm sure our hero regrets that decision and is hopefully doing some bench presses as we speak.

There's a lot more in the video. I suggest going over it like the Zapruder film. Just remember to ask politely if you can borrow someone's chair when in the Dells.

P.S. Is this normal Dells behavior? Like I said I've never been. We weren't a Dells family, we went camping in Canada over the summer. Not a big deal but kind of a big deal.