In the interests of full disclosure, I must tell you that I am not a boat guy. Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against boats. As a matter of fact, I've never been out on the Rock River boating without having a great time. It's just that I don't want one, I want friends who have one.

However, if I were to buy myself a boat for use on the Rock, or any of our nearby rivers and lakes, I would want to come up with a clever or interesting name for it. Since Boaty McBoatface has been rather publicly taken, what does that leave me with?

Luckily, we have the master list of the most popular boat names for 2017, which includes Illinois--and really, any other place that sells boats and has water--compiled by the nation’s largest recreational boating advocacy, services and safety group, Boat Owners Association of The United States (BoatUS). Take a look:

  1. Serenity
  2. Seas the Day
  3. Andiamo (“Let’s go!” in Italian)
  4. Irish Wake
  5. Freedom
  6. Adagio (Italian once again, meaning "at slow tempo")
  7. Ohana (Hawaiian for "family")
  8. Oasis
  9. Happy Ours
  10. Firefly

Okay, those are fine. But, after some additional searching, I've found some real-life boat names more suited to my sense of humor. Names like:

  1. Yeah Buoy!
  2. Pier Pressure
  3. Dijabringabeeralong
  4. Ship for Brains
  5. Marlin Monroe
  6. Usain Boat
  7. Boobie Bouncer
  8. AquaHolic
  9. Cirrhosis of the River
  10. Master Baiter


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