Summer brings nice weather (hopefully), concerts, festivals, and carnivals. Recently, I took my kids to a perfectly-sized carnival for an evening of fun. It was pretty standard; games, food, and rides-so of which could make people vom-bomb.

Carnival Food Concession Stand Sign and Amusement Park Ride
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The best part of our time at the carnival was watching my kids and their friends having a ton of fun. The smiles and laughs were worth the cost, and we all know carnivals aren't always cheap.

It was fun watching kids big and small riding the giant slide. Some of the kids even caught a little air! There were plenty of laughs watching kids react to riding the thrill rides too. All-in-all it great time except for one thing. Everything was fine and dandy until I was asked to hop on a few rides.

How It Began

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It all started with a ride similar to the one pictured above. The seat design may vary but the motion of the ride does not. This ride isn't scary as much as it moves at speeds that make you feel like your internal organs are smashed to one side of your body. Yay.

(I will be completely honest, it took a solid 5-10 minutes for my organs to slip back into place.)

I should preface I'm not in the best physical shape. I don't know if that correlates to what happened next but I'm saying it does, along with being close to 40-years-old.

How It Ended

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One of my kids' friends wanted to ride the Zipper but neither of them wanted to ride with him. Guess who stupidly offered to ride it with the friend? The idiot writing this article.

We get in line, waited for about 5 minutes, and then I begrudgingly climbed into the tight space within the "car". I noticed the inside was heavily padded, which is good news.  We're on the ride, up and moving, and rocking... literally. It's all good though, I had ridden this ride a few times... 20 years ago.

At one point we are flipping in constant backward circles and then in an instant momentum changed and we rotated the other way. It literally happened in the blink of an eye. This is when I face-planted the "protective" handlebars in front of me. I didn't just head butt the door, I knocked into it so hard that I saw stars. If I had been in a cartoon there would have been little birds circulated around my head.

Dear Parents,

Please consider your age and fitness level before agreeing to ride something our bodies aren't meant to handle.

Sincerely,

Dad with a headache.

ILLINOIS FLASHBACK: DONLEY's WILD WEST TOWN

Here is a look at Donley's Wild West Town, in Union, Illinois, before the closure of the park in 2022.

20 of the Best Day Trips to Take From Illinois