What Happened When A Naked Man Jumped Into The Chicago River?

Like an annual rite of summer in Chicago, a naked drunk dude boat-hopped on the Chicago River, and picked fights with randos.

Too Much Liquor, Too Little Shame: A Fear I Didn’t Know I Had

To be fair, it's nothing like I've ever seen in my life. The amount of liquor or whatever this guy must've been on had to be astronomical because being out in the public in nothing but my birthday suit is one of my top five irrational fears.

Jumping from Division Street Bridge: Meet Mr. Bad Decisions

So to set the scene, our naked guy, let's call him Mr. Bad Decisions, decided to jump from the Division Street Bridge into the Chicago River, and swim up to private boats like it was his job while flashing everyone around him his "windy city."

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Not that it needs to be stated, but the boaters were less than entertained as they threw more fists at this poor naked fella than he could count. After he got kicked off the boat, he grabbed an adult-size swimmy like a drunken toddler and jumped back into the river, hoping to ensure he gets liquid tetanus finally.

Chicago Police, Fire, and Helicopters Respond to River Madness

The Chicago Police and the Chicago Fire got involved while helicopters swirled above the scene. The cops finally pulled Mr. Bad Decisions out of the drink because even the river wanted to kick his behind.

The 5 'Must-Try' Chicago Hot Dog Experiences In Illinois

The state of Illinois and the city of Chicago have built quite a reputation for incredible food, but none have reached the level of obsession like the Chicago-style hot dog. Discover the 5 hot dogs in the Windy City you must try before you die.

Gallery Credit: Steve Shannon