Enough with the Selfies Already!

In the entire time I've been a smartphone owner, I've taken exactly two selfies. Two. That's it. I should also mention that I took them to send to my wife for her approval of my clothing choices when she wasn't around to critique me in person.

My daughter Molly, being 16 years old, is mandated my federal law to take at least 5 selfies per day. Outfits, hairstyles, pets, shoes, food and/or drink, etc. On most days, I'm proud to say, she not only meets, but surpasses federal requirements for selfie-taking.

The selfie is everywhere! It was even named as one of the "words of the year" last year by some online dictionary (with entirely too much spare time in the office).

Krissy Moore, writing for The Daily Hit, admits that she herself is a selfie taker. She also takes other selfie takers to task with what she calls "Selfie Addiction:Top 16 Worst Types of Selfie."

A few that make Krissy's list:

• The Gym Selfie

• The Pet Selfie (want to post your pet's photo? Just post the pet's photo!)

• The Car Selfie (also known as The Seatbelt Selfie)

• The Just Woke Up Selfie

• (Even worse is) The Pretending to Be Sleeping Selfie (we know you're not asleep, idiot, you took the selfie!)

• The Duck Face Selfie (which does not make you prettier, it makes you look stupid and desperate. But, if that's what you're going for, carry on.)

• And, of course, The I Live in Filth Selfie (If you're going to show the entire world your living quarters, then clean up a little bit first! You're embarrassing your mother.)

With all the bad selfies out there, and no end in sight to the phenomenon, maybe what's needed is a program for selfie addicts. With that in mind:

Get yourself some help. A front-facing camera is a terrible thing to waste.