Oh where to start...and how to dance around this without saying something, "wrong." Deadspin

Double T's Cat Payton
Double T's Cat Payton

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to Lucious Seymour. Football player and full on badass from Eastern Illinois University.

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With goals of making it to the "league" one day, Lucious needs to get tough. The 1% of the 1% make it to the NFL. You have to be strong, fast, physically a freak and kick ass all the time! One thing that was holding him back, his name. What's in a name?


O.K. here we go folks, NSFW warning has been issued and it's first and ten. Lucious was NOT born Lucious Seymour. Things were different and I'm sure he wasn't picked on AT ALL growing up. Maybe that's what sparked his fire, to become a gridiron great??


Lucious Seymour was once...


Damn it, mom and dad....Really.

Once Lucious started his college football journey and it was known what his birth name was, he didn't take too kindly to people poking fun.

Lucious was a little ticked when he leaned about Deadspin having fun with his name:


ooo so yall mother f+ckers dont have sh+t else to say bout me huh... damn you know the funny thing is that mother f*ckers like yall wont have the balls and say it to my face.. when i make it to the league i willshoot a middle finger at yall and say f*ck all my haters.. i am the realest, and my name is Lucius Seymour get it right!!

Mr. Seymour, good luck.

Seven Incredibly Funny People From Illinois



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