Sammy Sosa Looks A Little Different Today
Sammy Sosa out here lookin like Pepto Bismal. pic.twitter.com/1xdKo84Bko
— OXTAIL GAWD (@ThatDudeMCFLY) July 13, 2017
This is NOT the Sammy I remember.
I know you maybe questioning if that’s really Sammy but I checked and yes it is.
Sammy’s been having, let’s say lightening, skin for about four years now. Here’s an excerpt from an article from 2013.
MedicalDaily – Sosa said he is not trying to look like the late pop star Michael Jackson and is not suffering from any skin illness. He stated instead that his skin color was due to a longtime use of a cosmetic “skin cream,” in combination with bright TV lights make his face appear whiter than it actually is.
If Sammy is trying to blame this look on the lighting, then he better be sitting in front of one of those spotlights that car dealerships use when they’re having a sale. That’s not an optical illusion, that’s jarring.
The Cubs need to bring Sammy back into their family. I know he didn’t leave on the best of terms but he was undoubtedly a fan favorite and one of the best players to ever wear a Cubs jersey. He alone made the Cubs watchable for almost 10 years. His home run battle with Mark McGwire boosted the sport to popularity it hadn’t seen in decades. Did he do steroids? Yep! A whole bunch of them, but literally everyone in the league was doing them and baseball basically looked away and thanked them for the ratings.
So let’s bring Sammy back home. Let him sing the seventh inning stretch and shake some hands. Heck, I’d even want him on the payroll as an ambassador to some young Latin players that undoubtedly idolized him 20(?!?) years ago.
P.S. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention his hat in that picture. The man can’t pick out a reliable skin cream but that hat is the fashion version of a 66 home run season.