Midwest Goodbye Is Serious Problem In Illinois & Wisconsin
If you're from Illinois or Wisconsin, I guarantee at some point in your life you've either committed or been a victim of the Midwest Goodbye.
What Is The Midwest Goodbye?
Before I get started with this issue with people in Illinois and Wisconsin, I have to make sure we're on the same page. Even though I'm pretty sure you've experienced the Midwest Goodbye in some way or another, we might not exactly know what it is. No problem, I can easily help you out with that.
A cultural phenomenon wherein a group of Midwesterners, after gathering for an event, like say a meal at a restaurant, spend nearly as much time in the establishment's parking lot as they did sharing the meal saying their goodbyes.
The Problem With The Midwest Goodbye
Until recently, I didn't know it was called the Midwest Goodbye. I've been on both sides several times in my life. The big problem is that it seems like you can never leave. Add some adult beverages and it gets even worse. Hopefully, you don't have anywhere else to be because you'll definitely be late. I think people from Illinois and Wisconsin are just too nice. You're best bet to get out of that situation is the Irish Goodbye or what I like to call the sneak out.
The Different Steps Of The Midwest Goodbye
- The Welp: This is when you make your intentions known that it's time to go.
- Hugs: You've got to give everyone some love before you can even think about walking out of the door.
- The Door: This is the first time you feel like you're going to be able to escape. It took several minutes to get to this point.
- More Conversation: Sorry but your visit isn't quite over yet. Now, is the time to finally catch up with the host.
- Dropping The Hint: They haven't got the hint yet, so once again you drop a "time to get going."
- More Hugs: For some people, there's no such thing as too many hugs.
- The Door: You finally get to the point where you open the door and walk out.
- Walk And Talk: As you're making your way to the car, the conversation continues.
- The Wave: You're in the vehicle pulling out of the drive way and you're receiving what seems to be the never-ending wave goodbye.