Why is Everyone Hiding Their Beer?

When my kids were of trick-or-treating age, there were always a few houses in the neighborhood that I looked forward to visiting. More specifically, I enjoyed visiting certain homes along our route because, in addition to the candy for the kids, they had a cold beer for the dads (moms, too). A warm, friendly greeting, a fistful of Snickers into the bag, an ice-cold beer into my hand, and bob's-your uncle, off to the next house. What's more, there was usually an invitation to stop by for another on the way home. We're talking folks who were generous with their malt beverages.

Not anymore, if what I'm seeing online proves to be the new trend. Hidden beer coolers. Press a secret button, and up pops this unseen beer dispensary. I just realized how old-school and behind the times I am. I keep my beer in a fridge in my garage. No secret button required. Open the door, help yourself. I even have a magnetic Darth Vader bottle opener on the front, in case a handled, metal box with magnets all over it doesn't shout "beverages are in here!" There must be a lot of beer thefts going on. Or, maybe it's some sort of hoarding thing.

If you are behind the times, as I am, about covert beer storage, watch and learn:

"Drinking? Me? Naw, I'm just watering the cactus..."

"Yeah, the grout seems to be okay...I'll just check it some more."

At least he doesn't have a secret button.