It seems you can't turn around these days without bumping into another food made better by bacon. Bacon-wrapped filets. Bacon-wrapped meatloaf. Cheesy bacon popcorn. Bacon-apple sandwiches. And, of course, still popular is just plain bacon.

If you are cooking a large amount of bacon, you know of the pitfalls. Grease everywhere. And since bacon still is primarily a breakfast food there are perhaps times when you are not fully prepared to protect yourself.

Thus, perhaps someone you know would benefit from Naked Bacon Cooking Armour.

No, seriously. Here's a picture:

J&D's Foods
J&D's Foods
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It's the world’s first body armor specifically designed to protect your man- or womanhood from the well-known perils of cooking Bacon naked. Still don't believe me? Here's another picture:

J&D's Foods
J&D's Foods
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The company behind the product claims cooking naked has been proven to increase one’s sense of smell and taste. I have no idea if that's remotely true. But as they say:

Naked Bacon Cooking Armor is both lightweight and somewhat stylish, and it provides maximum bacon-cooking protection in the areas you need it most.

If you are thinking about buying your favorite radio host a Christmas present I am sorry to inform you this is not on my list. Because a) I don't eat a ton of bacon b) I don't cook bacon at home and c) If I did I would be wearing pants.

But perhaps there's someone on your list super hard to buy for. What do you get the man or woman who has everything? Naked Bacon Cooking Armor.

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