This isn't your normal "Missed Connections" post.

Every Friday I read through the missed connections section on Rockford's Craigslist page looking for the most fun, funny or strange recent posts to share with you. Last week when I was scrolling through I came across one that I thought would have a lot of potential.

The post is titled, "cute blonde girl at liquor store," and specifies that the store was Riverside Liquor.

I clicked into the post thinking there could be a brewing love story from this liquor store. Boy was I wrong!

I've seen a lot of weird stuff in my Craigslist reading days. Some very inappropriate photos, plenty of people looking to cheat on their spouses, but I've never actually run into this sort of missed connection complaint before.

The post says the following:

you thought you were cute and witty. I was holding a 6-pack of 312 Wheat ale and I was looking at the Mini Bottles. You appeared to be maybe 23 years old and super f***ing arrogant. you looked towards your boyfriend and said "I don't get these little bottles. I don't know why anyone would buy them. is it because they are too poor to buy a big bottle??". You kept looking at me. I offered several explanations as to why one would reasonably purchase a small bottle of liquor. Your boyfriend, embarrassed of your spoiled little entitled ass, tried to save face and said "he has some good points, I think he wins".

You fired back some more flippant comments about people not being able to afford a whole bottle. I smiled, looked at you, and checked my watch for the time. Had you been the high society little b**ch you are trying to emulate, you may have noticed the pristine $5500 Omega Planet Ocean XL on my wrist. you paid, I walked up, I paid, the owner, who I know, rolled his eyes and said I dont know how you didn't say something to her.". I told him it wasnt worth it. I got out of the store just in time to see you sit down in an older, faded honda hatchback as I walked to my brand spanking new Mercedes-Benz. I then drove home, parked my Mercedes next to my Audi in my garage, opened my miniature bottle of Jim Beam, and toasted you as I guzzled down the shot.

Normally, I'm extremely humble. But seriously, f**k you, and f**k your parents. They obviously did a horrible job.

Oh, I forgot...I bought a second bottle...cheers!!!!!

Yikes. Those two are most definitely not a match made in heaven. Come back Friday for some more missed connections that might actually end in love.