Contact Us

Obese Raccoon in Zion Rescued by Police

Flickr RF, Getty Images

I know that in today’s politically-correct climate that “fat-shaming” will get a person in trouble pretty quick, but c’mon, let’s be honest. There are certain members of the animal kingdom here in Illinois that could stand to drop a couple of pounds. Masked bandits, I’m looking at you.

We hear all the time about the obesity epidemic here in America that affects human beings, yet somehow overeating furry creatures (who aren’t dogs or cats) have escaped the same level of scrutiny that lovers of the Double Quarter-Pounder with Cheese routinely get.

Now, thanks to a ton of publicity involving the rescue of a “curvy” raccoon by Zion, Illinois cops and public works employees, raccoons across the Land of Lincoln have been put on notice. Lose some weight, or stay out of our sewers.

From NBC-Chicago:

Authorities said they found the creature stuck while trying to climb out of a Zion sewer grate. The officers had been called to the area for assistance when they discovered the unexpected scene.
“It seems this little guy has been eating a little too well and got caught in the sewer grate,” the Zion Police Department wrote on Facebook. The raccoon was so big officers couldn’t help it out of the grate, so they called the Zion Public Works Department.
“They were able to free him and our friend was no worse for wear,” the police department wrote.


Subscribe to 1440 WROK on

A spokesman for the raccoon, seeking to deflect from his client’s weight problem, claims that the unidentified raccoon is simply “big-boned,” and has been dealing with a nasty breakup by over-indulging in leftover and discarded pints of Häagen-Dazs it finds in local trash cans.

Recommended For You

Best Of The Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to using your original account information.

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for Insider quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!

Sign up to have exclusive Insider contests, events, coupons, presales, and much more delivered to you for FREE.