It’s Lawn Mowing Time Once Again in the Rockford Area, Don’t Be Like These Guys

Remember during the winter months when you were wishing for Spring? You wanted no more cold and snow, no more shoveling and shivering. You wanted Springtime weather and all that comes with it. Like lawn mowing and maintenance. Well, Spring has sprung in the Rock River Valley, and the lawn mowers are out, or soon will be.

Around eight years ago, I was diagnosed with a ruptured disc in my neck. Being in an immense amount of pain, and lacking mobility, I was sidelined from my job of lawn care technician at my house. My wife, Amy took over the mowing while I recovered, but then decided she really like doing it. Bottom line: I'm no longer allowed to mow the lawn.

It might be because she does a lot better job than I did (and it pains me to admit that), or it might be because there were one or two (or more) times that I had a bit of a meltdown in the yard because the stupid lawn mower wasn't working right.

Which brings me to these guys. We're always warned about being careful with snow shoveling, given the amount of stories we see and hear about folks having a heart attack shoveling heavy, wet snow--but how many warnings do you hear about lawn mowing causing the same thing?

Don't be like these guys. Go ahead and laugh at how they're flipping out, but in the interests of good heart health: Warning! Do Not Try This At Home (oh, and some of the language you'll hear is completely NSFW):

Mower won't start? Try some gentle dis-assembly:

When your lawn mower bogs down on you, the key to dealing with it is to speak softly, and avoid all curse words. Or, you could be like this dude (NSFW language):

Maybe an electric mower is the way to go...

And, my personal favorite (seriously, do not try this at home unless you're really craving a visit from area law enforcement):

Now that you're motivated, get out there and mow!