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Here’s The Complete Rankings Of The Cubs New ‘Player Weekend’ Jersey Nicknames

Cubs jersey

Major League Baseball is doing something new this year (READ: Creating a new source of revenue) and letting the players pick a nickname for the back of their jerseys for one weekend in August. 

I’ve always said that there’s 162 games in a season, there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun with a handful of them.

The Cubs have unveiled what each member of the team will be wearing August 25-27 when they visit Philidelphia. Some are good. Some aren’t.

Here’s my scientific ranking of each nickname from good to bad.

  1. Carl Edwards Jr. – Carl’s Jr
  2. Javy Baez – El Mago (The Magician in Spanish)
  3. Ben Zobrist – Zorilla
  4. Brian Duensing – Deuce
  5. Kyle Hendricks – Hendo
  6. Hector Rondon – Rondi
  7. Jake Arrieta – Snake
  8. Jon Jay – 305 J
  9. Jason Heyward – J-Hey
  10. Anthony Rizzo – Tony
  11. Kyle Schwarber – Schwarbs
  12. Ian Happ – Happer
  13. Jose Quintana – Q
  14. Kris Bryant – KB
  15. Willson Contreras – Willy (Would have been #1 if he had gone with Big Willy Style)
  16. Albert Almora Jr – Tico
  17. Addison Russell – Addy
  18. Mike Montgomery – Monty
  19. John Lackey – Lack
  20. Wade Davis – Wader
  21. Pedro Strop – Stropy
  22. Koji Uehara – Koji
  23. Tommy La Stella – La Stella
  24. Jon Lester – Lester

 

In all honesty, only about half a dozen of these are actually creative. The rest are basically just hockey nicknames that Coach Quenneville would come up with on the fly. The bottom three are just a disgrace.

I’m going to give Koji a pass on the lame nickname because something may have been lost in translation and Tommy La Stella gets one too because he’s been called up and down so many times that he might not have had time to come up with something fun. But Jon Lester gets an F– for his. Lighten up Jon it’s a game.

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